Cat and Lynx Raven

MODIFIED

03
Feb
2020
Ghost Hunters, Researchers, Writers, History Geeks

Cat and Lynx are horror writing, ghost hunting, pole-dancing mistresses of the macabre because ‘Bringers of Nightmares’ isn’t a recognised job title. They have their own ghost hunting show on YouTube that you’ve probably never heard of: Calamityville Horror. Unscripted, uncensored, unprofessional and unashamed. They are the worst ghost hunters in existence because they never find any ghosts. Considering they also have difficulty finding certain locations, this should come as no surprise.

In their spare time, they look after their animal army, write horror stories, compete in pole-dancing competitions, are the editors of a brand new pole-dancing magazine (When in Chrome) and have opened a mobile pole-dancing studio (The Pole Vault). Occasionally, they remember they have friends. Oh and they practise witchcraft. However, they have to keep the altar in a box because their cats keep destroying it. Despite being classed as witches’ familiars, it seems cats have no respect for the dark arts.

Cat and Lynx are avid history lovers, particularly anything involving executions and tortures. The gorier the better. It’s just as well they became horror writers and not serial killers, though if they chose the latter path, they would likely be famous and have a major book deal. But life is too short for regrets. They fell in love with Edinburgh’s historic streets and return as often as they can, becoming sort of experts on what 17th century Edinburgh was like. Despite their frequent visits to the underground vaults in the incredibly haunted city, they’re yet to meet a single ghost.

They’ve ghost hunted in many locations, their favourite being Alcatraz, where they managed to lose an entire tour of 100 people and were eventually thrown off the island for keeping the ferry waiting. Their pleas of “can we stay the night?” were met with “please leave.” They slept in Bodmin Jail and once drove all the way to Bodmin just to see a two-minute demonstration of a dummy being hanged in the working execution pit, only for Cat’s text alert to ruin a film crew’s interview with the jail manager.

They don’t believe in using fancy gadgets because their opinion is ‘if we don’t know how it works, how will the ghosts?’ The technology wasn’t invented back then. They’re “open-minded sceptics” and try to debunk every possibility before accepting the supernatural answer. Trust them, it’s definitely dust. This attitude has led to them no longer being invited on ghost hunts with some groups, who don’t appreciate being told their fancy SB7 is communicating through the Top 40. They greatly mistrust strangers when using Ouija boards and during a night in Gloucester prison, exposed a faker by deliberately pinning the planchette and enjoying watching the person struggle to move it. Another company once blamed them for ghosts not showing due to their cameras, but they put the no-show down to “complete bullshit.”

A lot of their ghost hunts are spent dressing up, harassing mannequins, interviewing farm animals and being so excited at certain locations that they forget to actually do any ghost hunting.


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